Sunday, 26 February 2012

New Article: Oscar Who?

That’s right! Two articles in two days! This one is my annual article about the Academy Awards, posted only an hour after the Oscar Telecast ended!


Something is different about you, Oscar…

Last year during the Oscar telecast I got the idea in my head that this year (2012) it might be fun to live-blog the Oscars. And then the nominees were announced, and I knew that something was… different about this year’s Oscars. I had this feeling that, because I won an Oscar pool last year, Oscar was going to try to put me in my place this year…

A look at the nominees made something about this year very unusual: I don’t think I saw any of the nominated movies. In any category. ANY.

Oscar was trying to beat me.

This year is also rather a landmark in that there were two films (other than foreign-language films, which I don’t keep up with very well) that I had never heard of before they were nominated: The Beginners andAlbert Nobbs. I had to look both of them up. I mean, I’m a pretty pop-culture savvy guy. I try to keep up with movies as much as possible, even if I don’t end up seeing them. So how did those two slip past me? How did you do that, Oscar? You think you can beat me that easily?

It’s not like I didn’t want to see some of these films. I just ended up seeing very few films in 2011 muchly due to starting a new job schedule and finding much less time to spend in darkened rooms with strangers.

Anyhoo, let’s take a more detailed look, shall we? Have I seen any of these movies? Will Oscar completely defeat me?

Best Picture:

  • The Artist
  • The Descendants
  • Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
  • The Help
  • Hugo
  • Midnight in Paris
  • Moneyball
  • The Tree of Life
  • War Horse

Have I Seen Any? NOPE!

Actor In a Leading Role:

  • Demián Bichir: A Better Life
  • George Clooney: The Descendants
  • Jean Dujardin: The Artist
  • Gary Oldman: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
  • Brad Pitt: Moneyball

Have I Seen Any? NOPE!

Actress In a Leading Role:

  • Glenn Close: Albert Nobbs
  • Viola Davis: The Help
  • Rooney Mara: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
  • Meryl Streep: The Iron Lady
  • Michelle Williams: My Week With Marilyn

Have I Seen Any? NOPE!

Actor In a Supporting Role

  • Kenneth Branagh: My Week With Marilyn
  • Jonah Hill: Moneyball
  • Nick Nolte: Warrior
  • Christopher Plummer: Beginners
  • Max von Sydow: Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

Have I Seen Any? NOPE!

Actress In a Supporting Role:

  • Bérénice Bejo: The Artist
  • Jessica Chastain: The Help
  • Melissa McCarthy: Bridesmaids
  • Janet McTeer: Albert Nobbs
  • Octavia Spencer: The Help

Have I Seen Any? NOPE!

Animated Feature Film:

  • A Cat in Paris
  • Chico & Rita
  • Kung Fu Panda 2
  • Puss in Boots
  • Rango

Have I Seen Any? NOPE!

Cinematography:

  • The Artist
  • The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
  • Hugo
  • The Tree of Life
  • War Horse

Have I Seen Any? NOPE!

Art Direction:

  • The Artist
  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
  • Hugo
  • Midnight in Paris
  • War Horse

Have I Seen Any? NOPE!

Costume Design:

  • Anonymous
  • The Artist
  • Hugo
  • Jane Eyre
  • W.E.

Have I Seen Any? NOPE!

Directing:

  • Michael Hazanavicius: The Artist
  • Alexander Payne: The Descendants
  • Martin Scorcese: Hugo
  • Woody Allen: Midnight in Paris
  • Terrance Malick: The Tree of Life

Have I Seen Any? NOPE!

Documentary Feature:

  • Hell and Back Again
  • If a Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Liberation Front
  • Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory
  • Pina
  • Undefeated

Have I Seen Any? NOPE!

Documentary Short:

  • The Barber of Birmingham: Foot Soldier of the Civil Rights Movement
  • God is the Bigger Elvis
  • Incident in New Baghdad
  • Saving Face
  • The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom

Have I Seen Any? Are you kidding me? Of course not! NOPE!

Film Editing:

  • The Artist
  • The Descendants
  • The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
  • Hugo
  • Moneyball

Have I Seen Any? NOPE!

Foreign Language Film

  • Belgium, “Bullhead”
  • Canada, “Monsieur Lazhar”
  • Iran, “A Separation”
  • Israel, “Footnote”
  • Poland, “In Darkness”

Have I Seen Any? NOPE!

Makeup:

  • Albert Nobbs
  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
  • The Iron Lady

Have I Seen Any? NOPE!

Short Film (Animated):

  • Dimanche/Sunday
  • The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore
  • La Luna
  • A Morning Stroll
  • Wild Life

Have I Seen Any? NOPE!

Short Film (Live Action):

  • Pentecost
  • Raju
  • The Shore
  • Time Freak
  • Tuba Atlantic

Have I Seen Any? NOPE!

Sound Editing:

  • Drive
  • The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
  • Hugo
  • Transformers: Dark of the Moon
  • War Horse

Have I Seen Any? NOPE!

Sound Mixing:

  • The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
  • Hugo
  • Moneyball
  • Transformers: Dark of the Moon
  • War Horse

Have I Seen Any? NOPE!

Visual Effects:

  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
  • Hugo
  • Real Steel
  • Rise of the Planet of the Apes
  • Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Have I Seen Any? NOPE!

Writing (Adapted Screenplay):

  • The Descendants: Screenplay by Alexander Payne and Nat Faxon & Jim Rash
  • Hugo: Screenplay by John Logan
  • The Ides of March: Screenplay by George Clooney & Grant Heslov and Beau Willimon
  • Moneyball: Screenplay by Steven Zaillian and Aaron Sorkin. Story by Stan Chervin
  • Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy: Screenplay by Bridget O’Connor & Peter Straughan

Have I Seen Any? NOPE! – But I am glad that The Descendants won, because Jim Rash plays Dean Pelton on Community.

Writing (Original Screenplay):

  • The Artist: Written by Michel Hazanavicius
  • Bridesmaids: Written by Annie Mumolo & Kristen Wiig
  • Margin Call: Written by J.C. Chandor
  • Midnight in Paris: Written by Woody Allen
  • A Separation: Written by Asghar Farhadi

Have I Seen Any? NOPE!

Music (Original Score):

  • The Adventures of Tintin
  • The Artist
  • Hugo
  • Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
  • War Horse

Have I Seen Any? NOPE!

Music (Original Song):

  • “Man or Muppet” from THE MUPPETS
  • “Real in Rio” from RIO

Have I seen Any? YUP! I saw The Muppets! I SAW THE MUPPETS! Hah! Take THAT, Oscar! I WIN!

Whew! That was a close one. I coulda sworn Oscar was gonna beat me this year. You came close, you magnificent bastard, but I was saved by the Muppets. SAVED BY THE MUPPETS, you hear me!? HA!

True, if I had been making an Oscar Scorecard, my score would be a whopping “1” — but 1 is still better than a big fat 0! In your metallic FACE, Oscar!

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