Posts from March 2017

Monday, 27 March 2017

The New Mayor of Ferndale: Open Mike Eagle

Sunday night Open Mike Eagle had a musics show in Seattle. I kinda wanted to go, but (a) it was a school night, (b) I’m old, and (c) by the time I got around to looking at tickets it was already sold out.

I was kinda bummed to miss him this time around; he’s always very entertaining. Well, it turns out he entertained us all on Saturday when he had to make a very unscheduled stop on his tour in the town of Ferndale, WA (just north of Bellingham):

Mike Instagrammed the whole adventure of his “Ferndayoff” so I’ll let him tell it in his own words and photos:

so you know that thing that everybody knows about how you have to bring your passport to enter canada and everybody knows that? well i forgot i knew that until i woke up on a tour bus about an hour away from the border like an easily avoidable bad dumb dream. so i wont be rapping in vancouver tonight (sorry. i failed the part of the test where you have to bring a passport). i will however be hanging out all day in a magical place called ferndale washington trying to see how quickly I could be the mayor. #ferndale #ideservethis

ferndale what are you doing? you cant call a place this. #ferndalewa #ferndalewhy

ferndale i dont know what the fuck this is. i must investigate. #ferndalewa #ferndalewtf

the drive through tattoo parlor/ home decor investigation is on hold for a moment because im afraid that this dairy queen is also the local high school. as the new mayor i cant stand for this. #ferndalewa #getittogetherferndale #ferndayoff

blanket bill tho #ferndalewa #ferndalehistory #ferndayoff

hearing whispers questioning the legitimacy of my mayor-ness. as you can see this is a very secure voting system and has not at all been tampered with. now let’s get back to fixing ferndale. #ferndalewa #mayormikeeagle

about to get this tattoo as i have been informed that it is the ferndale city crest. #mayorofferndale #ferndaleforever #ferndayoff

was not kidding. ferndale forever. #ferndalewa #ferndayoff #mayormikeeagle #mayorofferndale

im being told that the mayor has to wear this every day and i suddenly dont know if i can do this.
and yes i know i already got the tattoo but look at this. this is way worse.
#ferndalewa #ferndalesgonetoofar #ferndayoff

I attempted nightlife in ferndale. it was not good. Saturday night in ferndale was a lot like Saturday morning except the sun was gone. I was able to get one of the four local uber drivers to give me a ride back to the mayor’s quarters at the super 8. he was also the high school gym teacher and he tried to sell me these books he wrote. i declined and decided that he’s the mayor now because I was officially creeped out and had to leave town. #ferndalewa #ferndayoff #ferndalephysicaleducation

I’ll never forget you ferndale. I made a handful of very odd decisions in you. im in seattle now tho and its way better. #ferndalewa #ferndayoff

Mike will be in Eugene, Oregon doing musics tonight, so any all y’all down there should try to check him out. Maybe he can become the mayor of Eugene, too??

Categories: Pictures.

Friday, 24 March 2017

Geoff Punches Ghosts for Science

There's one!

There’s one!

Set to some Crazy Boy Floyds music, watch as Geoff (of the Crazy Boy Floyds, and also a founding member of Fools Play Improv) punches (and kicks) ghosts… for SCIENCE!!

You see, Geoff is up in Canada right now, and there’s a long-running…

Y’know what? No. I’m not gonna explain this. No explanation needed. There’s no explanation that could be better than: Geoff punches ghosts for science. Period. Full-stop.

Categories: Cartoons, Fools Play, Science, Videos.

Thursday, 23 March 2017

Great Ideas on the Internet: Turn Your Switch Into an NES!

Is it correctly "A" NES or "AN" NES???

Is it correctly “A” NES or “AN” NES???

There have been reports of Nintendo Switch docks scratching the screens of the Switches themselves. I haven’t had this problem personally (though I did buy a screen protector because common sense). But one ingenious Etsy craftsperson has come up with a solution: a microfiber-backed “Switch Sock” that slips over the front of the dock to keep it from scratching the screen!

My favorite is the one that makes the Switch look like a (an?) NES, but there are many designs from various Nintendo games (as well as solid colors if you’re boring (or just want to coordinate with your home décor)).

Say "Switch Socks" 10 times quickly. Go on.

Say “Switch Socks” 10 times quickly. Go on.

They’re only $14.99 and free shipping! Pretty cheap if you’re worried about ruining your $299 piece of technology.

Seriously, is it a NES or an NES?? Now that’s really buggin’ me.

Categories: Great Ideas on the Internet, Shopping, Video Games.

Wednesday, 22 March 2017

A Toddler Tour of Tacoma

A Pictoral Journey.

A Pictoral Journey.

Just this past rainy Monday, my family and I were all driving around in our car (well, Carrie was the only one actually driving; Avery & I were riding in the backseat). My 3-year-old daughter asked if she could use my phone to take photos out the window. She ended up taking 86 photos in about 10-15 minutes. Here are my nine favorite in random order (click any to embiggen):

Also, at one point she put the camera lens down right on her leg and said, rather ominously, that she wanted to “take a photo of the darkness.”

The Darkness

The Darkness

Where’s her Pulitzer for Photography, Pulitzer peoples??

Categories: Life, Pictures, Tacoma, Weather, Wee Beb.

Tuesday, 21 March 2017

Why Does This Make Me Laugh So Much!?

A friend of mine posted this video on her Faced Book page yesterday. I watched it last night while sitting on the couch with my family and I was laughing so hard that tears were leaking out my eyes. My daughter asked “What’s so funny, Papa?” Here, watch:

Seriously, why does this make me laugh so much? In fairness, not all the bits in the video got me. The dice, the onion, the upside-down top, the puzzle, those fell flat. But the cake, the ruler, the circle, the stencil, those got me. Got me good. There’s something I think about incompetence. Those sequences are all setup for success; everyone knows how to slice a cake, and the rulers and stencils and the like are all there to make sure you can do these things right. And then the brazen incompetence with which the expectations are violated is just wonderful to me.

I dunno. I just like laughing.

Categories: Videos.

Monday, 20 March 2017

The James Bond Dance Dream, Co-Starring Charlize Theron

Theron… Charlize Theron.

Theron… Charlize Theron.

You know those dreams where you’re supposed to do something really important, but you didn’t know about it or prepare for it? The most common instance being you’re supposed to take a test or give a presentation in school but you’re completely unprepared for it. Y’know?

That was the kind of dream I had a few nights ago. There was some big Hollywood awards show—not the Oscars or anything, but big enough to have in a huge theater like that. There was going to be an interstitial between awards that featured a “James Bond-Themed” dance set to Duran Duran’s Bond Theme, “A View to a Kill.” In case you’re unfamiliar with that song, here it is:

The dance was to be performed by Charlize Theron wearing a black gown. My job was to operate the spotlight. At the last minute, the producer and director of the show called me over to the side of the state and told me that they’d decided I should get in a tux and go up on stage and join Charlize as James Bond. Charlize’s part of the dance had been completely choreographed, but the producer of this awards show literally told me to “wing it!” Hilariously, since they hadn’t planned on throwing me up there until the last minute, I was not given a prop gun, just a laser pointer that I was supposed to pretend was a Walther PPK.

The dance started out excellently. I was manning the spotlight. The stage went dark, and I turned on the spotlight. As the opening strain of the James Bond theme started playing, Charlize walked out into the spotlight, spun and fired a prop pistol directly at the spotlight, which flared bright and then went dark, mimicking the “gun sight” openings of the James Bond movies.

As “A View to a Kill” started playing, I had to rush down from the spotlight perch and head up the main aisle in my tux and climb up on stage.

Y’know how dreams like this are usually panic-inducing? Well, image instead that you embraced the whole “winging it” philosophy and had an absolute blast. Instead of trying to dance, I acted like the silhouette of Roger Moore in his James Bond opening numbers, striding around and posing and pointing my laser-pointer “gun.” Then I realized I could actually tell a story with this whole thing.

There was one part where Charlize was choreographed to head way off to one side of the stage, then quickly dance across to the other side. When she moved off to the side I was in focus on centerstage. I quickly spun around like I just noticed someone behind me, then slam, sprawled on my back as if I had been shot dead. Charlize started her dance across the stage to the other side, and right at the moment where she crossed behind me, I spasmed as if I had been hit with a defibrillator. When she reached the other edge of the stage I sat up, groggy, and instead of going back into Roger Moore posing, I started acting dazed, stuttering around Charlize as she danced, studying her every move.

Charlize, like a trooper, started playing to me instead of to the audience at this point, and the dance became a story about a man who was killed and then brought back to life as James Bond by Charlize’s femme fatale. By the end of it I was acting in full-on confident James Bond mode again.

It was hecka fun and funny. The audience of celebrities seemed to enjoy it as well.

Categories: Dreams, Music.

Friday, 17 March 2017

The Gentlemen of Leisure are Great and Powerful

Even more than that wizard guy, whoever he was.

Even more than that wizard guy, whoever he was.

Y’know how sometimes it seems like everybody in my life is a musician? Well, ad another whole group o’ folks called Gentlemen of Leisure to that list!

Made up of some of my very good friends, including a couple of Katrina evacuees from New Orleans who ended up in Tacoma (Sphinx Akashaa & Chris Blount) and a gorgeous redhead cellist from Philly (Jen Hasson), GOL (as they’re known for short) have released their very first EP, Great and Powerful! You can buy it right now, and it’s only pay-what-you-want:

The reason why this is being released today? Well, the whole gang is down in Austin, Texas, for the South by Southwest festival. They’re part of a showcase of Seattle-area musicians who all trekked down (dubbed Seattle X Southwest) that’s happening TODAY! See here:

Seattle by Southwest Lineup.

Seattle X Southwest Lineup.

So if you also happen to be at SXSW this year, you should definitely go and check these peoples out.

Details:
3rd Annual Seattle X Southwest (Faced Book Event)
TODAY at 3:00 PM (Texas Time)
@ The Local Pub and Patio
2610 Guadalupe St, Austin, TX 78705 (map)
FREE, 21+

They're on at 9:00.

They’re on at 9:00.

Hey, since GOL are on at 9:00, you’ll have time to go from their performance over to Barracuda to catch my other pal, Open Mike Eagle, do his set at 1:00 in the AM!

Barracuda!

♫ Oooo-oooooo-ooooooooo… Barracuda!

Categories: Concerts/Shows, Music.