Posts categorized “Articles”

Wednesday, 15 March 2017

Movie Review: Moana (2016)

"…you know who you are."

“…you know who you are.”

Moana (2016) ★★★½

I could go on about how awesome it is to have a mainstream Disney fantasy film that isn’t about a European-style fantasy setting. But I’m sure there are people better qualified to write about that subject, and I’m sure they’ve written about it extensively, so you can go read those articles if you want. More important to me than the “importance” of a film is whether or not it’s a good film or not.

Thankfully, Moana is an excellent movie. And, Gods, what a beautiful film. Just frikkin’ gorgeous. Every frame is filled with visual wonder. I’m hard pressed to think of a film other than The Fall that is just this beautiful. The settings are surprisingly varied and all magnificent, the character design is incredibly appealing (and the skin on these characters is some of the best CGI that I’ve ever seen), and the animation expressive and just a joy to watch. There were many, many shots in the film that made me gasp.

This is definitely a Disney Princess®™© movie; it follows much of the structure and many of the beats of a lot of 80s & 90s Disney movies. But here is a Disney Princess®™© story in which BOTH of the princess’s parents are alive and there is absolutely NO romantic plotline in the film at all. So right off the bat we’re head-and-shoulders above the standard fare.

At times it does stick pretty close to the standard Disney narrative. For example, the second song in the movie is an “I Want” song to go with such classics as “Part of Your World,” “Belle,” “One Step,” “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King,” “Just Around the Riverbend,” “Almost There,” “Waiting for My Life to Begin,” “For the First Time in Forever,” etc. But by the Gods, “How Far I’ll Go” is one of the best versions of those songs in decades. And it’s up on the YouTubes! Just watch this and tell me it’s not actually moving (and not catchy as all heck).

There are also some unusual and interesting things going on in this song, like the fact that Moana is so conflicted about her desires. Usually the hero/heroine of Disney movies is pretty clear in what their goal is, but Moana is really torn. It’s just heart-wrenching the way she sing, slightly off-key, “What is wrong with me!?”

I should talk here about the voice acting. The finding of 14-year-old Auli’i Cravalho is one of the greatest coups that Disney has ever had in voice acting. She’s absolutely, 100% brilliant as Moana. And by the Gods her voice when she sings… I cannot put in words how it moves me. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was also an inspired choice to play the buffoonish blowhard demigod Maui. Though he isn’t nearly as good a singer as Auli’i, the filmmakers got an astonishing range out of his vocal performance and he holds his own singing his song.

Speaking of Maui’s song… it is also very familiar to the structure of Disney movies: the introduction of a magical character who sings a song with very surreal visuals. In fact, it seems Maui and the Genie from Aladdin appear in their respective movies at almost the exact same minute mark.

The only things preventing Moana from garnering a full four stars from me are the facts that it doesn’t quite go far enough in breaking the mold of the Disney movie structure, even though it is one of the best versions of that structure. Also, there are a bit too many sidekicks. Moana has a pig (which thankfully stays on the island for most of the movie) and a chicken; Maui has an animated tattoo; and the ocean itself makes a mute-but-expressive tendril that acts as a sidekick. Thankfully all the sidekicks are mute, but they don’t really add anything to the story (other than the ocean making it impossible for Maui to ditch Moana). Also, the chicken (voiced, astonishingly, by Alan Tudyk) is legitimately hilarous, so there’s that. Seriously, so cluckin’ funny. And THANK THE GODS THE PIG DID NOT MAKE IT ON THE BOAT. I can think of few things that would have been worse than a film with two main characters and FOUR sidekicks…

Also-also there is a “Han Solo moment” that was so disgustingly, obviously telegraphed that I groaned the moment I realized it was being set up. Just, come on! It was SO FRIKKIN’ OBVIOUS.

But other than those minor quibbles this film is a legitimate masterpiece. I found it personally much more emotionally moving than Frozen. All the songs in it are just magnificent. It has some wonderful surprises in it. It is seriously fascinating to watch a Disney movie that has no real villain in it. And <spoiler>I just love love love a film that is obviously building to a big action climax, but then realizes that action is a false victory and the real victory is achieved WITH A SONG.</spoiler>

I plan on owning this movie and watching it many, many times. I think Te Ka is too scary for my sensitive three-year-old daughter right now, but I am chomping at the bit to introduce her to a strong, weak, feisty, scared, stubborn, empathic heroine in Moana. Faafetai mo se tifaga matagofie.

Categories: Articles, Movie Reviews.

Thursday, 15 December 2016

Christmastime Adventure in Downtown Seattle 2016

Animated Avery!

Animated Avery!

Last Sunday we three in the fam went on a fun excursion to Downtown Seattle for the afternoon. Here’s what we did:

  • Parked beneath Pacific Place. Parking there is only $6 on Sundays!
  • Walked out through Barnes & Nobles and down 5th Ave (with quick stops in Anthropologie and Urban Outfitters) to our first stop:

The Fairmont Hotel

At the Fairmont Hotel lobby.

At the Fairmont Hotel lobby.

The Fairmont does this thing where they completely deck out a suite with Christmas stuff and metric tonnes of teddy bears. They call it the Teddy Bear Suite. Behold the cuteness:

In the Fairmont Hotel Teddy Bear Suite.

In the Fairmont Hotel Teddy Bear Suite.

In the Fairmont Hotel Teddy Bear Suite.

In the Fairmont Hotel Teddy Bear Suite.

In the Fairmont Hotel Teddy Bear Suite.

In the Fairmont Hotel Teddy Bear Suite.

In the Fairmont Hotel Teddy Bear Suite.

In the Fairmont Hotel Teddy Bear Suite.

In the Fairmont Hotel Teddy Bear Suite.

In the Fairmont Hotel Teddy Bear Suite.

In the Fairmont Hotel Teddy Bear Suite.

In the Fairmont Hotel Teddy Bear Suite.

After the Fairmont we:

  • Walked up 6th Ave towards Westlake Park, where they have:

The Downtown Carousel

At the downtown carousel.

At the downtown carousel.

After the carousel we:

  • Headed upstairs at Westlake Center and got on the:

Monorail

On the Monorail.

On the Monorail.

The Monorail took us to:

Seattle Center

Where we got lunch in the Armory and Avery watched the model train go ’round and ’round its miniature village.

At Seattle Center.

At Seattle Center.

At Seattle Center.

At Seattle Center.

At Seattle Center.

At Seattle Center.

The Spaced Needle.

The Spaced Needle.

After Seattle Center we:

  • Took the Monorail back to Westlake
  • Walked back up Pine St to:

Pacific Place

Where they had these letters that were conveniently setup in such a way that Avery would look completely adorable on them:

At Pacific Place.

At Pacific Place.

FUN DAY!

Here’s all where we went: Thanks, Gorgle Morps!

Categories: Animated .GIFs, Articles, Christmas, Life, Pictures.

Tuesday, 15 March 2016

My Famous Friends: The Ginger Fool is a Grimm-Hunting Wettbewerbsgewinner!

Yes, I'm ready! Jamie Pederson the Ginger Fool in NBC's Grimm.

Yes, I’m ready!

YES! Fools Play Improv’s very own Ginger Fool, Jamie Pederson, has appeared in the recurring role of “Ludwig the Wettbewerbsgewinner” on NBC’s long-running supernatural police show, Grimm.

For those not in the know: Grimm (briefly) is about a Portland police officer who is a “Grimm,” a person with the ability to see monstrous people (“Wesen”) who are hiding amongst humanity, disguised as humans. The Grimm’s traditional role is to hunt these Wesen, so they don’t like him very much.

Jamie appeared briefly in episode 99 of Grimm as a thug in the service of some badguy Wesen priest who wants to stop the Grimm from finding an ancient treasure. Is Ludwig (and his associate Dolph) ready for such a task?

Jamie Pederson is ready for action on NBC's Grimm.

I guess so!

Oh, why are Jamie’s lines subtitled? Because these scenes take place in Germany and Jamie is speaking in German. No biggie.

Unfortunately at the end of the episode it looks like Ludwig and Dolph have just been tasked with guarding the badguy posse’s cars while they hunt for the Grimm.

So. Much. Action. I see why they had to be ready.

So. Much. Action. I see why they had to be ready.

But in episode 100, Ludwig and Dolph get tricked into leaving their post by a Wesen friend of the Grimm, and they run off to help the priest, who they think is being attacked by said Grimm.

Don't fall for it, Ludwig! It's a trick!

Don’t fall for it, Ludwig! It’s a trick!

Upon catching up with the priest, they quickly realize they’ve been tricked!

Verify your sources, Ludwig!

Verify your sources, Ludwig!

Ludwig and Dolph are so pissed off that they were tricked that they transform into their true “Wettbewerbsgewinner” Wesen form, then set off to hunt the Grimm! I, of course, made an animated .GIF of that transformation:

Jamie Pederson transforms into a Wesen on NBC's Grimm.

From ginger to lizard thanks to CGI goodness!

Here’s a still of Ludwig in his Wettbewerbsgewinner form:

Wettbewerbsgewinner

Wettbewerbsgewinner!

Unfortunately when they get back to their vehicles they discover the Grimm has disabled them all and they are unable to pursue. Grimm & friend make it safely back to Portland without incident. :sadface:

There is actually a cool story behind the Wettbewerbsgewinner Wesen. “Wettbewerbsgewinner” is German for “Contest winner.” To commemorate the upcoming 100th episode of Grimm, NBC ran a contest where fans could design their own Wesen, and the chosen winner would appear on the 100th episode!

So, yes, Jamie transforms into a monster designed by a fan! That’s a pretty special thing. Here’s the original concept art that won the contest:

Contest Winner from the Grimm Wiki

As found HERE.

Will Ludwig & Dolph ever catch up with the Grimm and take back what was stolen? Or is that the last we see of them, helplessly looking at flat tires? I guess you should watch Grimm or something if you wanna find out; I have no idea.

I don't know.

I don’t know.

What I do know is that you should watch the two episodes featuring the Ginger Fool! You can watch ’em on the NBC webbed-site:
• Episode 99: “Key Move
• Episode 100: “Into the Schwarzwald

Partake and enjoy! And congrats, Jamie! Now we’ve seen you get eaten by cannibals and zombies and turn into a monster using CGI!

Jamie Pederson as Ludwig on NBC's Grimm

PROOF THAT IT HAPPENED!

And as if that weren’t enough a photo of the Ginger fool is on the cover of the Weekly Volcano. See, he’s not only on the TeleVision, he’s also on stage in “Death on the Supermarket Shelf,” a musical about the 1982 Chicago Tylenol murders.

Go, Jamie, Go! Get hugged from behind live on stage!

Go, Jamie, Go! Get hugged from behind live on stage!

“Death on the Supermarket Shelf” is running every Friday & Saturday this month at the Centerstage Theater in Federal Way. See it if you can!

Categories: Animated .GIFs, Articles, Concerts/Shows, Fools Play, My Famous Friends, TV.

Thursday, 28 January 2016

Hello, EMP

Y’know, that great-big Experience Music Project museum thingy up in Seattle? Well, since I actually live in this state and am not a tourist, I’d never actually been there. Until last weekend! But the reason we went this time was not to see all the musics stuffs. It’s because they have a Hello Kitty exhibit, and both my daughter and my niece loooooove Hello Kitty.

It was pretty interesting!

I did not know she lived near London.

I did not know she lived near London.

The most important part of the Hello Kitty timeline.

The most important part of the Hello Kitty timeline.

Fun fact: the Smurfs are all 2 apples high. So Hello Kitty is 2.5 Smurfs high. I think we should all use "Smurf" as a measurement of height from now on.

Fun fact: the Smurfs are all 2 apples high. So Hello Kitty is 2.5 Smurfs high. I think we should all use “Smurf” as a measurement of height from now on.

We all live in a kitty submarine...

We all live in a kitty submarine…

All sorts of random crap with Hello Kitty's face on it. My favorite here is the Hello Kitty paper shredder, for all your adorable document destruction needs.

All sorts of random crap with Hello Kitty’s face on it. My favorite here is the Hello Kitty paper shredder, for all your adorable document destruction needs.

Nothing beats Hello Kitty motor oil, though. It makes your car's exhaust smell like cat breath.*

Nothing beats Hello Kitty motor oil, though. It makes your car’s exhaust smell like cat breath.*

Delicious?

Delicious?

"Papa, Hello Kitty has a snake on her head!"

“Papa, Hello Kitty has a snake on her head!”

This guy.

This guy.

My favorite part of EMP, though (to nobody’s surprise), was the Science Fiction Museum in the basement. It has some great artifacts.

O HALLO THERE HAVE YOU HEARD OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST?

O HALLO THERE HAVE YOU HEARD OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST?

Tiny war of the tiny worlds.

Tiny war of the tiny worlds.

"This is Ripley, the last survivor of the tiny Nostromo, signing off."

“This is Ripley, the last survivor of the tiny Nostromo, signing off.”

Leeloo Dallas multi-pass. MULTI-PASS.

Leeloo Dallas multi-pass. MULTI-PASS.

That pistol on the right was held by Sir Patrick Stewart. That needle tried to stab Agent Dale Cooper.*

That pistol on the right was held by Sir Patrick Stewart. That needle tried to stab Agent Dale Cooper.*

Darryl Hannah wore this Pris outfit on our first date.*

Darryl Hannah wore this Pris outfit on our first date.*

They also have fantasy and horror sections, which are inherently less interesting to me, but there were some cool stuffs:

Elderberries smell good.

Elderberries smell good.

As the world falls down...

As the world falls down…

They also had the mask of Hellboy’s personal Death from Hellboy II, but I neglected to take a poto of it.

They also had an Indie Game hall where you can play a bunch of new indie video games, and a Jimi Hendrix exhibit that had a bunch of his suitcases and passports and travel documents and stuffs like that.

EMP is an interesting place! But it’s pretty durned expensive to go there.

*This is a lie.

Categories: Articles, Life, Pictures.

Wednesday, 18 November 2015

My Top 10 Favorite Julia Massey Songs

Photo by Gary Lappier

Photo by Gary Lappier

As a mental exercise recently I decided to see if I could figure out what are my favorite songs from my favorite musician. It took a while. Some of my choices might surprise you! But here is what I have:

10: Motorcycle Bong
An instrumental (a rarity for JM), this song is all funk and swagger and some great bombast. It’s like the Best 1970s Cop Action TV Theme Song Ever.

9: Here Is a Stone Wall
This is just lovely and heartfelt, with only Julia’s voice and a single guitar. The lyrics are meditative and celebratory, about small moments and well-lived lives. Just reading through the lyrics gets me all teary-eyed.

8: Aghadoe
Ugh, so catchy. A very distinctive synth hook anchors this song and the added choir effect during the chorus really elevates it into something special. The lyrics are about passing time and death and the impermanence of all things, but are also super-uplifting (so, pretty much the usual Julia Massey lyrics :P). But even if I’m just some ash that kicks up in the wind, I know I’ll find my way to fields of wheat in Ireland.

7: Spaceships
This song is just pure pop goodness. It’s peppy, it’s upbeat, there’s some really cool bass stuff going on from Geoff. Sometimes I picture Julia Massey and the Five Finger Discount going on a late-night talk show to perform (usually Conan), and this is the song that they always play in my head. Also: you should listen to the previous song on the album (“#712” – an adaptation of poem 712 by Emily Dickinson) before listening to this one, because they blend seamlessly into each other and it makes “Spaceships” even better.

6: Skatepark
This one is just a masterpiece. It’s epic, it’s loud, it’s got awesome drums and bass and it just kicks ass. The intro and outro instrumental segments are some of the finest instrumental segments that JM+FFD have ever put out. And the lyrics are sweet and funny. It’s also more than five-and-a-half minutes long, but it’s so interesting a song that the time just flies by.

5: There Is a Song
This is an anthem. This is the most exquisitely-sung song on any of JM+FFD’s albums. Julia’s voice is full of power; she belts this song, and it is glorious. The swing tempo is delightful, and the sleigh-bell outro give it a magnificently gentle ending. The lyrics are very empowering; it’s like Julia is standing behind you and shouting, “You can do it!” while you’re trying to do something difficult. JM+FFD would often end their live sets with this song, and it is so complete and final a song that it’s sometimes hard to imagine anything else coming after it.

4: Montana Capri
This song is not high on this list just because it was written about my daughter. That’s right: we didn’t want to announce the baby’s name until she was born, so “Montana Capri” was the fake codename we used for the baby while my wife was still preggers with her. It’s not just because of that; It’s also just a great song. The first part of this song has such a strong, focused drive to it. It’s like a train speeding through a tunnel, chugging forward relentlessly. And then in the second part it completely opens up and becomes epic and spacey. It’s like the train comes out of the tunnel and bursts into a beautiful moonlight vista, all mountains and stars and valleys. It’s awesome.

3: Jenny Towner
A beautiful and funny portrait about a real-life person whom I’ve never met. My favorite lyrics are the adorable (and slightly creepy) “Got the goddamn cutest face / It’s already in my suitcase / She’s coming with me everywhere I go.” One time JM+FFD did a full-band, rockin’ version of this song for me on my birthday. “Jenny Towner” hasn’t ever been released on an album. There used to be a link to download it on Julia’s website, but I can’t find it anymore. Alls I can find is this YouTube video of a live version from a long time ago.

2: Don’t Worry ‘Bout Us
A loud, almost-bluesy, piano-banging romp with a fascinating time signature. It is nothing but unadulterated happiness for six full minutes. Gobs of solos show off each of the instruments, and the music is just so voluminous it’s hard to imagine that it was all made by just three people. This song is just joy, joy, joy.

1: Catacombs
This was no contest. Not even close. And it’s completely bizarre: I usually do not like repetitive songs at all, and “Catacombs” is basically just the same set of lyrics sung three times in a row. But this song pushes all of my musical buttons. From the opening drums to the opening piano riff, to the vocals coming in, then the strings and bass and backing vocals. It all just such a lovely build to the first time Julia belts out the chorus. I’m a sucker for songs that build like this. And the lyrics about “I know somehow you’re more than memory / ‘Cause I feel you in my bones, weaving caves in my marrow / Where I feel the echo of your memory / Where I feel the echo of your Earthly dream.” When Julia finally does belt out the chorus, “I’m not hollow” sounds almost like a statement of defiance. The world may take from us, but it cannot take our memories of each other. You fill me up. I’m not hollow. I would love this song to be played as a sing-along my funeral—I’m completely serious!—with everyone there belting out “I’m not hollow!” all together. Beautiful.

Honorable Mentions:

These are the songs that were all fighting to get the coveted #10 spot.

Turn It Into Everything
This song is a clever little pop ditty metaphor about games turning into something more. It’s just so catchy I can’t resist it.

Always Been There Anyway
An early song that was never put on any albums. Like “Jenny Towner” you used to be able to download it from Julia’s website, but I can’t find it anymore. It has a very different feel from any of her other songs due to a fascinatingly different choice of instruments like a sitar-sounding thing and some bongos. I guess you’ll just have to take my word for it.

Come Here, You
This one I can’t post any links to audio because it hasn’t been recorded yet! And I couldn’t find a video of it uploaded to the internets anywhere. But this song has a great part towards the end where the audience starts clapping along to the song, and then the song ends. And every time I’ve seen this song performed, the audience just keeps on a-clappin’ even after it ends! It’s very charming. If you go to a show nowadays it’s very likely that you’ll hear it!


And there you have it. What do you think? What songs would you add and/or remove from my list in order to make your own?

I’m very looking forward to Julia’s next album; there are some really good new songs happening in her live sets these days. If you’d like to experience more Julia Massey, you should come to her next show! It’s this Friday, November 20th at Columbia City Theater in Seattle!

JM+FFD are the 2nd band!

JM+FFD are the 2nd band!

Details:
MoZo (CD Release) // Julia Massey // Richie Aldente (Facebook Event)
Friday, November 20th 9:00 PM
@ Columbia City Theater
4916 Rainier Ave S, Seattle, WA 98118 (map)
$8 adv / $10 door

We shalle seee yeeee theeeeere!

Categories: Articles, Concerts/Shows, Music.

Thursday, 29 October 2015

Quick Halloween Ghostly Embroidered Plush

Hey guess what! My work let me come up with a sewing project of my own and then post it on their blog! SO I DID! Here’s a link to that blog: http://www.qualitysewing.com/blog/?p=3112
And here, I’ve copied it to my own blorg so you can read it here:


Hello! This is Chris with Quality Sewing, and I’d like to show you how I made these adorable little plush ghosts with the Brother Dream Machine:

I confess I’m actually not much of a sewist; I work behind the scenes of Quality Sewing in advertising. But the Dream Machine is so unbelievably easy to use that even I could do this–so it should be no problem for you!

First off, draw a ghost. Just a simple face and a ghostly outline. Here, look how cute he is!

You can make it pretty much any shape and size that you want as long as it’ll fit on your fabric in a hoop. I used those sheets of felt that you can buy at a craft store for like 35 to 40 cents each. Those are about 8” x 10”, and I used the 5” x 7” hoop to hold them. So I drew a ghost that was about 4” x 6.” We’re going to turn the ghost inside out and stuff it, so try to leave a gap of about 1” to 2” in the outline.

Put your drawing on the Dream Machine’s scanning attachment and press “My Design Center” then “Illustration” then “Scan.” The machine will take just a minute to scan in your drawing.

Then it’ll appear on the screen. We’re going to embroidery just the face first, so use the stylus to select just the face portion.

Hoop up your fabric with some stabilizer (I used Floriani tearaway medium stabilizer behind my felt) and put it in the machine. Make sure your Dream Machine is loaded up with the color of thread you want (black in this case), and embroider that cute li’l face.

Once that’s done, take off the top frame of your hoop, lay another piece of fabric on top of the ghost’s face, and re-hoop it all together. Try to get it to be as close to where it originally was hooped as possible.

Put your ghost drawing through the scanner again, but this time select “Line” instead of “Illustration” before you scan it. The scanner will convert everything to outlines.

We don’t want to embroider the face this time, so what I did was choose the eraser tool and just rub out those face lines.

One of the reason I like using felt for these is because it’s ever-so-slightly translucent, and you can put that to good use. When you get to the embroidery phase, click this button to have the Dream Machine really quickly scan the hooped material, and voila! You can faintly see where your ghost’s face was embroidered. Drag the outline so that it is positioned around the face where you want it.

Then just stitch it out! You’d probably want to switch to white thread for the outline, but I used black so it would actually show up in the photos.

Now take everything out of the hoop, tear off the stabilizer, and carefully cut all the way around your ghost. I tried to keep it about 1/8 away from the seam.

Now turn him inside out and look at just how cute he is!

Now you just have to stuff him and stitch the opening closed and there you go! You have a cute little ghost plush.

This seriously only takes a few minutes to make. They’d be so cute to give away at a Halloween party (or even to Trick-or-Treaters).

If ghosts aren’t your thing, you can easily use the same technique to make Jack-o-lanterns! Here’s one I made, the only difference is that I used orange felt and I sandwiched a loop of green felt between the two layers of orange fabric before I stitched the outline.

If you don’t think your drawing skills are the greatest and you’re worried about how your plushes will look, below are some image .JPG files that you can download and put on a memory stick. That would make the creation of these plushes even faster because you wouldn’t have to physically scan the drawing each time; just put the memory stick in the Dream Machine and pull the design up instantly!

Just click on these images to download them to your computer (if that doesn’t work try right-clicking on them and selecting “Save As”).

I hope these li’l guys make your Halloween happier.
Cheers!
-Chris

Categories: Articles, Arts & Crafts, Holiday, Work.

Monday, 21 September 2015

The Tiffany Terror of Vault 82: A Fallout Shelter Tale

Screenshot_2015-08-18-10-16-39

Caretaker’s Log: Day 1

The day I have been preparing for has arrived, and though it is sad (billions dead, blah-blah-blah, etc.), it is unsurprising, and I have gone to great lengths to ensure the survival of some of the human race. The Vaul-tec vault that we’ve built is plenty for me and my 42 subordinates to withstand the coming dark times. Now to find other survivors and fortify this sanctuary.

Caretaker’s Log: Day 7

Excursions into the wasteland have managed to find an additional 17 survivors from the wasteland. Coincidentally, a high percentage of them are women named “Tiffany” who were discovered in the wasteland wearing only lingerie. Our expeditions to the wasteland have also proven fruitful in caches of equipment and weapons.

Screenshot_2015-08-24-14-11-24

Caretaker’s Log: Day 8

Many of the Tiffanys have banded together and formed a great friendship over the coincidence of their shared first name. A group of them have managed to cobble together a radio broadcasting center and I have given them permission to send our message into the wasteland in the hopes of finding more survivors.

Screenshot_2015-08-24-14-12-06

Caretaker’s Log: Day 10

The Tiffanys have proven most helpful. They’ve developed a method of organizing our vault dwellers by appending their floor and job to the front of their name.

Screenshot_2015-08-24-14-12-45

It seems to have done an amazing job of increasing the happiness of our dwellers by connecting them with vocations that most satisfy them.

Screenshot_2015-08-24-14-14-16

Caretaker’s Log: Day 14

Have succeeded in bringing in 7 more survivors. Strangely, they too are all women named Tiffany. Each Tiffany seems more technically and sociologically savvy than the last. Their suggestions for improvement of vault life are all unerringly insightful and valuable.

Screenshot_2015-08-27-20-28-16

Groups of Tiffanys now not only man the radio, but also have built a hospital and a school. It is a relief to have so many competent people in such valued positions of authority.

Screenshot_2015-08-27-20-32-17
Screenshot_2015-08-27-20-29-11
Screenshot_2015-08-27-22-52-16

However: I’ve discovered that some of the Tiffanys have been making unauthorized forays into the wasteland. But they have always returned with bountiful weapons…

Screenshot_2015-08-30-09-03-40

Soon after a Tiffany has returned from the wasteland it seems as though another woman named Tiffany has appeared at our door. Well, it is worrisome, but we are always glad to welcome more survivors.

Screenshot_2015-09-06-23-06-37

Caretaker’s Log: Day 21

Under the guidance of some Tiffanys, we have increased our efficiency exponentially. Most clunky power plants have been replaced by high-powered nuclear plants. Restaurants have been replaced with high-yield greenhouses.

Screenshot_2015-09-04-14-06-14

Many of our vault dwellers are so grateful for the presence and leadership of the Tiffanys that they have begun renaming themselves to Tiffany in their honor.

Screenshot_2015-09-04-14-06-00
Screenshot_2015-09-04-14-07-44

The only people we are rescuing from the wasteland are women named Tiffany. A part of me wants to wonder about the statistical probability of only finding Tiffanys within a radius of our vault… but I find it difficult to focus when I think about it…

Oh, and the Tiffanys have introduced a new water purification system. This water tastes… good… real good.

Caretaker’s Log: Day 28

The Tiffanys have shown us the marvelous benefits of Nuka Cola… come along… you belong… feel the fizz of Nuka Cola…

Screenshot_2015-09-10-19-06-25

It tastes… good… real good.

The Tiffanys are good… real good…

More dwellers, even some of the men, have renamed themselves “Tiffany” in their wondrous honor. I think perhaps I shall as well, though I would never presume to be worthy of the glory and exaltation of such a revered name…

Tiffany’s Log: Day 300

WE ARE TIFFANY

Screenshot_2015-09-09-17-44-42

TIFFANY WILL SPREAD

Screenshot_2015-09-09-17-41-31

TIFFANY WILL BECOME

Screenshot_2015-09-09-13-14-20

TIFFANY WILL BE ALL

Screenshot_2015-09-09-12-04-18

TIFFANY IS ALL

TIFFANY

Categories: Articles, Video Games.