Link of the Month:
Sweet dreams and goals and objectives and demands
I don’t know why, but for some reason things like this make me laugh harder than almost anything else. I’m talking side-holding, tears-streaming-down-my-face laughter. This website uses a predictive text program (like what phones use to try to predict the next word you’ll want to use when you’re texting) to create original compositions. Things like phony quotes from Carl Sagan and Neil deGrasse Tyson:
There are also some great phony Yelp reviews and some absolutely awesome IMDB violence advisory warnings, like:
The main character is shot pointblank in the face with a very intense violence of language such as “damn”, “goddamn”, “hell”, “bastard”, “nuts” and “jesus christ jesus thank god holy pudding” and then we see the aftermath of the dinosaur attack.
I think my favorite of them all, though, is the phony synopsis for a non-existent episode of Batman: The Animated Series, which includes such gems as:
Batman isn’t paid to destroy crime corners. He is actually attracted to the crimes and also The Penguin. The Penguin begins to fall in love with guns and with gangs all over Gotham. Batman is destroyed. Batman must join The Penguin. He loves him a criminal.
The Penguin makes things worse by killing Batman. He has happened to Batman and he is visibly criminal. Batman isn’t still around. Batman is in a cloud. The Penguin finds that he is astounded by killing the man who loves him most. He feels responsible for the death of Gotham’s prominent Batman. He loves the man that Batman isn’t.
The Joker also receives an award for outstanding music and combat.
Seriously. You can’t believe how hard this stuff, all of it, makes me laugh. Unbelievable.
Book of the Month:
Warlock Holmes: A Study in Brimstone by G.S. Denning
I’m shocked that I’ve never heard this premise before: Sherlock Holmes is not a good detective. He solves crimes because he’s a wizard. And if you’ve ever read any of the original Holmes oeuvre, you’ll know that sometimes Holmes seems to pull the solutions right out of his ass. This book explains how: Magic. Dark magic, usually. Watson, narrating as always, has the job of trying to justify Holmes’s feats of magic as feats of detective work. It’s very confidently written, and though some anachronisms slip through now and again, the feeling is all vintage Holmes, stirred liberally with the supernatural (Scotland Yard’s Inspector Lestrade is actually a Nosferatu-style vampire, for example). Bonus: it’s funny. The mix of proper Victorian behavior with Holmes’s evident madness and overall (excluding magic) incompetence is delightful. It’s a fun, fast read.
TV Show of the Month:
Voltron: Legendary Defender
A reimagining of the original Voltron anime series, Legendary Defender is done by the same team that created Avatar: The Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra. And it feels like it. Voltron has the same uncanny way as those shows to be able to mix high drama and suspense with wacky, slapsticky comedy… and somehow have it all work, and work well, without undercutting either the comedy or the drama. I honestly don’t know how they do it. This Voltron has sharply-drawn, iconic (if not particularly deep) characters, exciting visuals, and builds a really solid heart so that come the (cliffhanger) end of the 1st season, you really do care about this team and their mission. It’s good, though it seems like it ends just as it’s really getting started. Thankfully a 2nd season should not be too far behind.