Oscar Who?
Last year during the Oscar telecast I got the idea in my head that this year (2012) it might be fun to live-blog the Oscars.
And then the nominees were announced, and I knew that something was... different about this year’s Oscars. I had this feeling that, because I won an Oscar pool last year, Oscar was going to try to put me in my place this year.
A look at the nominees made something about this year very unusual: I don’t think I saw any of the nominated movies. In any category. ANY.
Oscar was trying to beat me.
This year is also rather a landmark in that there were two films (other than foreign-language films, which I don’t keep up with very well) that I had never heard of before they were nominated: The Beginners and Albert Nobbs. I had to look both of them up. I mean, I’m a pretty pop-culture savvy guy. I try to keep up with movies as much as possible, even if I don’t end up seeing them. So how did those two slip past me? How did you do that, Oscar? You think you can beat me that easily?
It’s not like I didn’t want to see some of these films. I just ended up seeing very few films in 2011 muchly due to starting a new job schedule and finding much less time to spend in darkened rooms with strangers.
Anyhoo, let’s take a more detailed look, shall we? Have I seen any of these movies? Will Oscar completely defeat me?
Best Picture:
- The Artist
- The Descendants
- Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
- The Help
- Hugo
- Midnight in Paris
- Moneyball
- The Tree of Life
- War Horse
Have I Seen Any? NOPE!
Actor In a Leading Role:
- Demián Bichir: A Better Life
- George Clooney: The Descendants
- Jean Dujardin: The Artist
- Gary Oldman: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
- Brad Pitt: Moneyball
Have I Seen Any? NOPE!
Actress In a Leading Role:
- Glenn Close: Albert Nobbs
- Viola Davis: The Help
- Rooney Mara: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
- Meryl Streep: The Iron Lady
- Michelle Williams: My Week With Marilyn
Have I Seen Any? NOPE!
Actor In a Supporting Role
- Kenneth Branagh: My Week With Marilyn
- Jonah Hill: Moneyball
- Nick Nolte: Warrior
- Christopher Plummer: Beginners
- Max von Sydow: Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
Have I Seen Any? NOPE!
Actress In a Supporting Role:
- Bérénice Bejo: The Artist
- Jessica Chastain: The Help
- Melissa McCarthy: Bridesmaids
- Janet McTeer: Albert Nobbs
- Octavia Spencer: The Help
Have I Seen Any? NOPE!
Animated Feature Film:
- A Cat in Paris
- Chico & Rita
- Kung Fu Panda 2
- Puss in Boots
- Rango
Have I Seen Any? NOPE!
Cinematography:
- The Artist
- The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
- Hugo
- The Tree of Life
- War Horse
Have I Seen Any? NOPE!
Art Direction:
- The Artist
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
- Hugo
- Midnight in Paris
- War Horse
Have I Seen Any? NOPE!
Costume Design:
- Anonymous
- The Artist
- Hugo
- Jane Eyre
- W.E.
Have I Seen Any? NOPE!
Directing:
- Michael Hazanavicius: The Artist
- Alexander Payne: The Descendants
- Martin Scorcese: Hugo
- Woody Allen: Midnight in Paris
- Terrance Malick: The Tree of Life
Have I Seen Any? NOPE!
Documentary Feature:
- Hell and Back Again
- If a Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Liberation Front
- Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory
- Pina
- Undefeated
Have I Seen Any? NOPE!
Documentary Short:
- The Barber of Birmingham: Foot Soldier of the Civil Rights Movement
- God is the Bigger Elvis
- Incident in New Baghdad
- Saving Face
- The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom
Have I Seen Any? Are you kidding me? Of course not! NOPE!
Film Editing:
- The Artist
- The Descendants
- The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
- Hugo
- Moneyball
Have I Seen Any? NOPE!
Foreign Language Film
- Belgium, "Bullhead"
- Canada, "Monsieur Lazhar"
- Iran, "A Separation"
- Israel, "Footnote"
- Poland, "In Darkness"
Have I Seen Any? NOPE!
Makeup:
- Albert Nobbs
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
- The Iron Lady
Have I Seen Any? NOPE!
Short Film (Animated):
- Dimanche/Sunday
- The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore
- La Luna
- A Morning Stroll
- Wild Life
Have I Seen Any? NOPE!
Short Film (Live Action):
- Pentecost
- Raju
- The Shore
- Time Freak
- Tuba Atlantic
Have I Seen Any? NOPE!
Sound Editing:
- Drive
- The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
- Hugo
- Transformers: Dark of the Moon
- War Horse
Have I Seen Any? NOPE!
Sound Mixing:
- The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
- Hugo
- Moneyball
- Transformers: Dark of the Moon
- War Horse
Have I Seen Any? NOPE!
Visual Effects:
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
- Hugo
- Real Steel
- Rise of the Planet of the Apes
- Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Have I Seen Any? NOPE!
Writing (Adapted Screenplay):
- The Descendants: Screenplay by Alexander Payne and Nat Faxon & Jim Rash
- Hugo: Screenplay by John Logan
- The Ides of March: Screenplay by George Clooney & Grant Heslov and Beau Willimon
- Moneyball: Screenplay by Steven Zaillian and Aaron Sorkin. Story by Stan Chervin
- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy: Screenplay by Bridget O'Connor & Peter Straughan
Have I Seen Any? NOPE! - But I am glad that The Descendants won, because Jim Rash plays Dean Pelton on Community.
Writing (Original Screenplay):
- The Artist: Written by Michel Hazanavicius
- Bridesmaids: Written by Annie Mumolo & Kristen Wiig
- Margin Call: Written by J.C. Chandor
- Midnight in Paris: Written by Woody Allen
- A Separation: Written by Asghar Farhadi
Have I Seen Any? NOPE!
Music (Original Score):
- The Adventures of Tintin
- The Artist
- Hugo
- Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
- War Horse
Have I Seen Any? NOPE!
Music (Original Song):
- "Man or Muppet" from THE MUPPETS
- “Real in Rio” from RIO
Have I seen Any? YUP! I saw The Muppets! I SAW THE MUPPETS! Hah! Take THAT, Oscar! I WIN!
Whew! That was a close one. I coulda sworn Oscar was gonna beat me this year. You came close, you magnificent bastard, but I was saved by the Muppets. SAVED BY THE MUPPETS, you hear me!? HA!
True, if I had been making an Oscar Scorecard, my score would be a whopping "1" — but 1 is still better than a big fat 0! In your metallic FACE, Oscar!