Posts from October 2018

October 1993

Happy Halloween!

My God, they’re made of sand…

This Halloween season, why not get spooked the heck out? Really, WHY NOT? Is there a better way to get spooked the heck out than by reading a supernaturally spooky book? What book series is more spooky than Goosebumps? Especially a choose-your-own-adventure Goosebumps!?

O gosh, reading this book made me scared that I would die of fear or scares that I might die.

In this book you take on the role of a spooked-the-heck-out teenager (though if you choose one path you skip to when he’s way growed up) who is scared of pretty much everything, and is spookily attracted to his cousin Zoe (she’s just as tall as you are, and she has the most amazing scent you’ve ever seen. Sometimes you bump into her on purpose). Also you might be attracted to your best bud slash basketball teammate Brad. In fact, it’s Brad’s basketball that serves as the catalyst for many of the horrific choices you must make!

But DON’T take my word for it. Just read these spooky excerpts from this relentless fright-fest… IF YOU DARE (YOU SHOULD DARE IT’S AMAZING)

Ho gosh this is scary should I read on?

O GOSH SPOOKY APPLES! I’m getting pretty scared gang I don’t know if I can read much more… okay maybe just a bit more!

O NO I CANNOT POSSIBLY READ ANYMORE I’M AFEARD OF SCARES!

That’s it I have died of scares and fears that I might die.

Can you possibly believe how spooky/scary this book is? Is it EVEN POSSIBLE to believe it!?

Look, I don’t want to spoil too much of the spooky surprises (spookprises?), but the two main branches of the book have you either searching for a lost basketball in Zombie Forest (where your hands might become the titular Sand Hands), or flash-forwarding to many years in the future where you have might a confrontation with your vampire stepchildren (in which case your hands might never become the titular Sand Hands). I’m not sure which one made my heart beat like it was about to have a heart attack more.

There are apparently over 20 spooky endings to this book, but I can’t verify that because every time I get to an ending (usually pretty grisly/gross/bad!) I have to put the book down and run away screaming for several hours before the sweat dries and I’ve drunk enough of my own tears to restore my courage to read more. I’m happy to report that I did get one happy ending! I know because the words on the page said, “This is a happy ending” (even though the guitarist of the band Rush was dead at that point—whoops, spoilers!).

So if you’re stout of heart and gut, you should definitely freak yourself the heck out and get super-duper scared by reading Goosebumps: Welcome to Sand Hands. Thankfully, the whole book is online for you to read FOR SPOOKILY FREE!

• TO READ GOOSEBUMPS: WELCOME TO SAND HANDS NOW, CLICK HERE!!!!
• TO BE TOO SCARED TO READ IT BECAUSE YOU’RE A BABY WHO LIKES TO SUCK ON THE CORNER OF ITS BLANKET AND CRY AT BIRDS, DO NOT CLICK HERE!

THE CHOICE IS UP TO YOU!

Freaky Outie…

Hey. Listen. LISTEN! I know that this very song was my Wednesday Listening Pleasure back in March. But Warren Dunes didn’t have a music video for the song back then! Also, they especially did not have a music video that was directed by my good friend (and non-incidentally bandmate in The Crazy Boy Floyds and retired Yellow Fool in Fools Play Improv) Geoff Gibbs. HERE IT IS (I bet you didn’t think I’d actually show it to you after that, but whysoever would you think that, you should know me better). Partake and enjoy!

Whoa.

Yeah.

You take the word “Costume” and the word “Play” and you put ’em together…

My friend, the lovely and talented Shiboney aka 2ManuallyFocus, is a professional photographer (among other things). One thing she specializes in is taking photos of people in their cosplay getups. And now she’s having an exhibition of her cosplay photography!

It’s at the Rosetta Hunter Art Gallery at Seattle Central College! Take a look:

View this post on Instagram

Mine! He he. I did all of this (minus the props and cosplay), but I reached out, organized, planned and executed all of this! I am thankful to everyone who helped make THIS a reality. I appreciate each and everyone of you! @foamfriction , @vivsai , @squeakadeekn @alan_the_asian_cosplay @corax_creations @bhcosplay @shellbellcosplay @40_below_cosplay_and_props @pixie_bomber @thehonestcosplayer @midori_minko @xxkitty_khaosxx @geekgasmrealm @kenshinkitten @troy_rudolph @northernviking_ @erikafoster7 @jerikandra @king.of.spandex @abisuecosplay @jessie_quill @ash.billings My kids and family for proofing my work and other cosplayers for being so freaking creative and giving me a canvas to work with 🙂 . . . #releaseyouralterego #2manuallyfocus #cosplayers #cosplayofinstagram #cosplayphotography #cosplayphotographer #cosplay #comicon #artexhibit #mrosettahunterartgallery #art #love

A post shared by Shiboney (@2manuallyfocus) on Oct 20, 2018 at 9:34am PDT

Not only is it an exhibit of her photos, but it is also displaying props and costumes from some esteemed local cosplayers:

R2 is that you…?

This is NOT a freeze-frame of a video game, TV show, or movie…

This Wednesday (October 24th) evening is the Opening Night party for the exhibit. You’re encouraged to go in cosplay if you’re going to go (and you should)!

Details:
Cosplay in the PNW – Opening Night (Faced Book event)
Wednesday, October 24th 5:00-7:00 PM
@ Rosetta Hunter Art Gallery
1701 Broadway, Seattle, WA 98122 (map)
All-Ages, FREE!

The exhibit runs through November 20th, so you should still get over there and see it even if you can’t make the opening night event!

2ManuallyFocus selfies with her own photos…

Those bats were NOT Photoshopped into this photo…

If you’re looking for a spooky good time on the Saturday evening before Halloween, you should go see Fools Play Improv’s annual Halloween show! It’s a bunch of improv comedy about spooky stuff!

Ch-ch-ch-ch ah-ah-ah-ah ch-ch-ch-check it out:

That’s four “O”s worth of Spooky…

Details:
Fools Play October in Olympia (Faced Book Event)
Saturday, October 27th 8:00 PM
@ Gravity Yoga
623 5th Ave SE, Olympia WA, 98501 (map)
All-Ages, Only $5.00!

I’ll spookily be there! So can you (spookily)!

Now he’s back to let you know, he can really be relatable.

Hey, Open Mike Eagle is coming out with a new album this Friday! To be called What Happens When I Try to Relax, it is now available for pre-order here. “Relatable (Peak OME)” is the first single from it. Partake and enjoy:

That’s some good musics!

OME meets OVW…

So not only is Open Mike Eagle a successful rapper, podcaster, gingerbread man, and soon-to-be host of a Comedy Central show, but now he has another bullet point to add to his resume:

Professional Wrestler.

You see, last week was the culmination of a very bizarre and hilarious wrestling feud, one that was full of excellent (and not-so-excellent) battle rap, some ringside hijinx, and some aid from some legendary wrestlers. Let’s take a look at how all this happened, shall we? Let’s:

THE BEEF:

Open Mike Eagle has long been an huge fan of professional wrestling. He even co-hosts a podcast called “Tights and Fights” dedicated to it.

So in the Ohio Valley Wrestling promotion (currently owned/run by legendary wrestling superstar Al Snow) there is a wrestler named Shiloh Jonze. Jonze decided that not only is he the king of wrestlers, but he is also the king of battle rap. As such, he issued an open challenge for anyone to come to an OVW show and battle rap him live. He tagged a bunch of famous rappers in his tweet, including Mike:

PRO WRESTLER CALLS OUT ANY RAPPER!

*Open Challenge Battle Rap!*#SeeMe #GetServed #hiphop #wrestling@Eminem @SnoopDogg @ASAPMOB @asvpxrocky @Mike_Eagle @methodman @ActionBronson @FlatbushZombies @Wale @myfabolouslife @NappyRoots @GhostfaceKillah @putshttps://t.co/poqYhm9UVD

— Shiloh Jonze (@ShilohJonze) September 13, 2018

Mike’s response was rather succinct:

man…on behalf of rap and wrestling fans

this is f*cking embarrassing https://t.co/kIAR1LBZam

— Open Mike Eagle (@Mike_Eagle) September 13, 2018

Jonze’s response was rather underwhelming:

Yo @Mike_Eagle
I'll tie you up like @RealKingRegal

I got more raps than Surran
I'm hungry like The Wolf:#DurranDurran#Served

— Shiloh Jonze (@ShilohJonze) September 13, 2018

Things escalated quickly…

I will. https://t.co/2w5t4eYUge

— Open Mike Eagle (@Mike_Eagle) September 19, 2018

he did not handle my appearance well. pic.twitter.com/ZBhx3dJw5q

— Open Mike Eagle (@Mike_Eagle) September 20, 2018

Yes, Mike actually went to a live OVW show and rather humiliated Jonze. “John Cena cosplay,” tee-hee-hee.

Jonze was having none of that, but again didn’t seem to know quite how to… have any rap talent at all:

I flexed on @Mike_Eagle,
Now he's trying to escape

Where'd the Eagle fly to?
I can't find him like the #PeeTape

Nut up or shut up,
Open Mike blowing smoke like a #Vape

You talk real internet tough,
But I'll shut you down like #Netscape#SeeMe pic.twitter.com/865HqmKXJd

— Shiloh Jonze (@ShilohJonze) October 4, 2018

Apparently Jonze also showed up at the Adult Swim live show that Mike was performing at, and tried to call him out there. I haven’t been able to find any footage of that, though. There is this… thing that happened, though:

The challenge was issued. Mike made a poll to see what his fans thought. The results were rather overwhelming:

should I…?

— Open Mike Eagle (@Mike_Eagle) October 5, 2018

So Mike reached out to Al Snow to see what could be done about this. Jonze seemed enthusiastic about the whole thing:

Let him in Al,
I'll pop him like an inflatable,
And heres something not even #Relatable,
I'm pro wrestler strong,
My rhymes will send you through the #SpanishAnnounceTable pic.twitter.com/YrVriLOY4m

— Shiloh Jonze (@ShilohJonze) October 6, 2018

Much to Mike’s surprise, Al Snow seemed to have had enough of Jonze’s horrible raps, and soon…

!!! https://t.co/RTaoPjxSuW

— Open Mike Eagle (@Mike_Eagle) October 7, 2018

dead serious. sending you a DM now https://t.co/Gm49b5fid7

— Open Mike Eagle (@Mike_Eagle) October 7, 2018

PRE-FIGHT:

Mike was cleared to wrestle!

pic.twitter.com/8PhgUZzBol

— Open Mike Eagle (@Mike_Eagle) October 9, 2018

THIS WAS ACTUALLY HAPPENING!

Open Mike Eagle is now licensed as a wrestler!

This means the match is now OFFICIAL! @Mike_Eagle will face @ShilohJonze in a match tomorrow at Episode 1000 LIVE at @4thstlive

Online tickets available until midnight: https://t.co/WZctbFpWrU

Presented by Gladiator Sports Network pic.twitter.com/m6j0nv0Nit

— OVW Wrestling (@ovwrestling) October 9, 2018

Mike flew out to Louisville, just hours before OVW’s big 1,000th show was about to happen.

View this post on Instagram

me in the fight place where im fighting a fight tonight

A post shared by open mike eagle. (@open_mike_eagle) on Oct 10, 2018 at 12:16pm PDT

View this post on Instagram

almost wore this clearly haunted fit to the ring. dressing for fights is hard.

A post shared by open mike eagle. (@open_mike_eagle) on Oct 11, 2018 at 6:17am PDT

And then it actually happened:

https://twitter.com/GY312/status/1050191062260703232

THE FIGHT:

View this post on Instagram

man I cant get over this shit.

A post shared by open mike eagle. (@open_mike_eagle) on Oct 11, 2018 at 2:34pm PDT

There’s very little footage online of the actual fight, which isn’t surprising because it was behind a $10 paywall. But here’s what tidbits I could find:

pic.twitter.com/RwfQba9rfp

— Open Mike Eagle (@Mike_Eagle) October 12, 2018

Yes Mike, yes you did. I popped huge for it. pic.twitter.com/1GD3lwLIfb

— Ajay (@atd233) October 11, 2018

Yes, it’s true, Mike actually WON his professional wrestling debut. But he didn’t do it alone. Take a look at this photo and see if you can make out who is raising Mike’s hand in victory:

Photo by twitter user seramarlowe

YES THAT IS NONE OTHER THAN THE LEGENDARY MICK FOLEY!!! Cactus Jack, Mankind, Dude Love himself, Mick Foley actually came down to the ring (along with Ken Anderson, who wrestled as “Mr. Kennedy” in the WWE) and helped Mike win the match.

Blatant rule breaking by @Mike_Eagle @RealMickFoley last night#smdh #cheating pic.twitter.com/9CI3DTh52e

— Shiloh Jonze (@ShilohJonze) October 12, 2018

POST-FIGHT:

I’ll let these speak for themselves:

. @RealMickFoley and @mrkenanderson helped me win a fight pic.twitter.com/O4ieQ3CyBa

— Open Mike Eagle (@Mike_Eagle) October 11, 2018

View this post on Instagram

you shoulda seen the other guy…. …he doesnt have a scratch on him. he beat me up most of the match. he still ugly tho. unrelated: new project soon. European tour starts in a week. #whathappenswhenItrytorelax #relatable

A post shared by open mike eagle. (@open_mike_eagle) on Oct 12, 2018 at 8:15am PDT

See? DREAMS DO COME TRUE. But emphatically only one time:

for real tho. read this pic.twitter.com/SpJH3VtVAf

— Open Mike Eagle (@Mike_Eagle) October 11, 2018

Also, Mike is coming out with a new album soon, to be called What Happens When I Try to Relax. Will it have more tracks that use professional wrestling terminology as an extended metaphor? Let’s find out… together!

P.S.

Due to the highly transitory nature of social media, I realize that embedding tweets and instagrams into a blog article probably won’t last very long as people delete accounts/posts/whatnot pretty frequently. So I went ahead and took a gigantic screenshot of this entire article so future generations can look at it as it once was. Click on it for full-size funtimes:

Daaang