Posts tagged “Halloween”

October 1993

Happy Halloween!

My God, they’re made of sand…

This Halloween season, why not get spooked the heck out? Really, WHY NOT? Is there a better way to get spooked the heck out than by reading a supernaturally spooky book? What book series is more spooky than Goosebumps? Especially a choose-your-own-adventure Goosebumps!?

O gosh, reading this book made me scared that I would die of fear or scares that I might die.

In this book you take on the role of a spooked-the-heck-out teenager (though if you choose one path you skip to when he’s way growed up) who is scared of pretty much everything, and is spookily attracted to his cousin Zoe (she’s just as tall as you are, and she has the most amazing scent you’ve ever seen. Sometimes you bump into her on purpose). Also you might be attracted to your best bud slash basketball teammate Brad. In fact, it’s Brad’s basketball that serves as the catalyst for many of the horrific choices you must make!

But DON’T take my word for it. Just read these spooky excerpts from this relentless fright-fest… IF YOU DARE (YOU SHOULD DARE IT’S AMAZING)

Ho gosh this is scary should I read on?

O GOSH SPOOKY APPLES! I’m getting pretty scared gang I don’t know if I can read much more… okay maybe just a bit more!

O NO I CANNOT POSSIBLY READ ANYMORE I’M AFEARD OF SCARES!

That’s it I have died of scares and fears that I might die.

Can you possibly believe how spooky/scary this book is? Is it EVEN POSSIBLE to believe it!?

Look, I don’t want to spoil too much of the spooky surprises (spookprises?), but the two main branches of the book have you either searching for a lost basketball in Zombie Forest (where your hands might become the titular Sand Hands), or flash-forwarding to many years in the future where you have might a confrontation with your vampire stepchildren (in which case your hands might never become the titular Sand Hands). I’m not sure which one made my heart beat like it was about to have a heart attack more.

There are apparently over 20 spooky endings to this book, but I can’t verify that because every time I get to an ending (usually pretty grisly/gross/bad!) I have to put the book down and run away screaming for several hours before the sweat dries and I’ve drunk enough of my own tears to restore my courage to read more. I’m happy to report that I did get one happy ending! I know because the words on the page said, “This is a happy ending” (even though the guitarist of the band Rush was dead at that point—whoops, spoilers!).

So if you’re stout of heart and gut, you should definitely freak yourself the heck out and get super-duper scared by reading Goosebumps: Welcome to Sand Hands. Thankfully, the whole book is online for you to read FOR SPOOKILY FREE!

• TO READ GOOSEBUMPS: WELCOME TO SAND HANDS NOW, CLICK HERE!!!!
• TO BE TOO SCARED TO READ IT BECAUSE YOU’RE A BABY WHO LIKES TO SUCK ON THE CORNER OF ITS BLANKET AND CRY AT BIRDS, DO NOT CLICK HERE!

THE CHOICE IS UP TO YOU!

Those bats were NOT Photoshopped into this photo…

If you’re looking for a spooky good time on the Saturday evening before Halloween, you should go see Fools Play Improv’s annual Halloween show! It’s a bunch of improv comedy about spooky stuff!

Ch-ch-ch-ch ah-ah-ah-ah ch-ch-ch-check it out:

That’s four “O”s worth of Spooky…

Details:
Fools Play October in Olympia (Faced Book Event)
Saturday, October 27th 8:00 PM
@ Gravity Yoga
623 5th Ave SE, Olympia WA, 98501 (map)
All-Ages, Only $5.00!

I’ll spookily be there! So can you (spookily)!

WHOA

On this, the Halloweenth Day of Halloween, please partake and enjoy some delights to watch and listen to, courtesy of some awexome peoples. Try not to get so scared that you might die of scares and fears that you might die.

Greatest American homestar:

Here is pupped Homestar singing a Halloween-ish version of the best TV show theme song of ALL TIME!

Open Mike Eagle and Video Dave in #DeadAss Episode 8: Halloween Special

Open Mike Eagle (and more importantly, VIDEO DAVE) are still on an independent rap tour (or they were when this episode was made). In this very scary episode, Video Dave makes them some pizzas with a special ingredient and then go to a mall and whoops craziness!

Oh, also Mike released a brand-new, exclusive Halloween-ish song that might not be here if you’re reading this anytime in the future:

The Crazy Boy Floyds: 8-Bit Halloween

Here is perhaps the greatest Halloween EP ever released, four songs of scares and fears that you might die!

Spirit Shrine: ghostslikeshadows

Here’s another very spooky song by the very spooky Spirit Shrine!

Trevor Peach: Hallowwon’t

And here we have a very un-spooky and rather depressing song from the Lord of Emo, none other than Trevor Peach!

Nerdic Public Radio: Halloween Edition

Finally, here is an episode of Nerdic Public Radio, the very strange radio station run by very oddly-accented folks who really ultimately have no idea what they’re doing. But it’s very funny!

And that’s that. Happy Halloweens, my everyones!

P.S. Jack-o-Lanterns designed by my 3-year-old daughter.

Salad, Salad, who’s got the Salad?

For the third time, here is some predictive-text-generated funtimes. This time I added the text of Call of Cthulhu to The Colour Out of Space. This one gets a little psychedelic:

The great, shapeless stream of vehicles said, “I do nothing shewed about of that terrible. It must, though.” Dreaming this, the professors stayed, and the fragment seemed inexplicably clammy. The aspect had terrible innocents. A little curiosity was an angel that night. It must have been, for several in his ears (and other globules) depended on the learned, and a verbal set of people.

Come back! Deep in men not quite useless was the vegetation. This must ever be sunk, or among the acre were the terrible departed.

Ministers held their hysterical horror at night. I had visions of my personal lamplight as it slunk at r’lyeh: Green gloss tainted dank, cyclopean earth. Merwin was a simple gnawing old gardner. His thing was clearly great.

Sinking, i attended completely and sure to the orgy in the attic pasture. It with a shudder and my uncle had possessed the professors. They were failing to trace lusciousness, but silently called cthulhu in their churchgoing motive. Gruesome experiences, nothing familiar, and subterrene horrors (not taxicabs) had been stricken with wholly unprecedented things. i did nothing.

Stars came down. I seen it. Everything was spherical. Soul carved from latently human sacrifices. Undying down in intermittent eaten could subject dank sent boxes. But i shall go mad.

Happy Halloween tomorrow! I hope your thing is clearly great, too.

H.P. Saladcraft.

Just as I did on Monday, here I present to you some predictive-text+random-number funtimes based on H.P. Lovecraft’s The Colour Out of Space.

The house had been in a state of nervous tension. Soil lived in the yard. Such substance wasted away. Unfortunately in the carpet was a monstrous constellation of unnatural boys. The colour of the neighbouring herbage is not quite right.

He said he behaved in arkham. It was just grotesque. Comfort always was strange. What he told in arkham was given a short paragraph in the gazette. Spot lived in the well. He had gone with the three professors from miskatonic university who hastened out the next morning to see the as was nameless fate of young thaddeus.

Soil lived in the well gave a hint good. that his long pole must have stirred up something. All dogs canadians a minds his high ground to use till the soil was good. What he told in the fields and distorted the deer just a colour out of the sky. Spot perhaps there seemed to strain a pail borrowed from beyond.

Happy 27th day of Halloween, errybody! I hope your long poles stir up something as well.

Two, Two, Two Shows in One Day!

Yes, that’s right: the Saturday before Halloween (October 28th, 2017), Fools Play Improv is performing not just one, but two shows!

First there’s a show in Olympia at 8:00PM:

Hallolympia!

Then there’s a show up in Tacoma at 10:30PM:

Tacoween!

Because the show in Olympia gets out around 9:30 or so, it is actually possible to see BOTH shows!

Details:
Fools Play in Olympia
Saturday, October 28th 8:00PM
@ The Puget Sound Estuarium
309 State Ave, Olymipa, WA (map)
All-Ages, Only $5!

Fools Play in Tacoma
Saturday, October 28th 10:30PM
@ Tacoma Little Theatre
210 N I St, Tacoma, WA (map)
All-Ages, Only $10!

There’s probably gonna be some Halloween Humor (Humorween/Hallowumer) at these shows! WHAT COULD BE BETTER NOTHING COULD BE BETTER.