I noticed late last week that my website traffic was blowin’ up. Take a look here:

March 30th: Daaaaaaaaaaang.

Looking into it, I realized that 99% off that traffic was from my post about Open Mike Eagle declaring himself the new Mayor of Ferndale, WA. I was already aware that Mike had re-tweeted the link to the article, but I quickly discovered that it hadn’t stopped there.

Mello Music Group (who have released some OME musics) tweeted a link to my post as well:

If you missed the story of Open @Mike_Eagle becoming mayor of Ferndale, enjoy https://t.co/pIYsCiwUTq pic.twitter.com/0IYqhSlfXe

— Mello Music Group (@MelloMusicGroup) March 29, 2017

That tweet in itself was re-tweeted 15 times. That would seem to be enough to account for the traffic spike. But then, the very City of Ferndale itself tweeted:

Hey @Mike_Eagle, visit again soon! We'd love to make you "honorary mayor" for a day. #FerndaleWA https://t.co/Na7nS5ykhs

— City of Ferndale (@CityOfFerndale) March 30, 2017

To which Mike succinctly replied:

honorary my foot! https://t.co/iWtp4nJW3b

— Open Mike Eagle (@Mike_Eagle) March 30, 2017

Mike would expand his stance on Instagram:

sorry ferndale. should have appreciated me when you had me. im rapping in san diego tonight and LA tomorrow and none of these transparent attempts to get me back are going to fly. #byefelerndale #toolittletoolate

A post shared by open mike eagle face (@artrapmike) on Mar 30, 2017 at 9:16am PDT

I tweeted about how my website traffic was blowin’ up over all this attention, and the City of Ferndale rather cheekily tweeted a response:

@angrybeef Sorry, not sorry!

— City of Ferndale (@CityOfFerndale) March 31, 2017

Also at one point over the weekend somebody I’d never met posted a link to my post on the Faced Book.

Well, it looks like as of today my site traffic is back to normal (i.e., nobody reading this), but it was a fun little explosion while it lasted.

TV Show of the Month:

Stranger Things
Yes, there is a lot of hype about this show, and a metric tonne has been written about how much of an homage it is to different 1980s pop culture like Steven Spielberg and Steven King and some other Stevens, probably. The thing is, it’s good. It’s not just a nostalgia trip (though it certainly is that). It’s really good. They’re making a season 2 soon. I’m glad about that. It already has a title.

Stranger Me?

Seriously, though, if for some reason you’re a dumbass and have avoided watching this show because it’s so hyped and popular, shut your hipster hole and go binge it. It’s really good.

Comic Book of the Month:

The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Vol 3: Squirrel, You Really Got Me Now
After the soft reboot of Marvel’s massive “Secret Wars” event, the Unbeatable Squirrel Girl comic started with a new #1 issue (“Our second #1 in 12 months” the cover proudly exclaimed). This collects the first 6 issues after “Secret Wars” and sees Squirrel Girls as part of an Avengers squad. But the bulk of the story revolves around her being accidentally sent back in time to the 1960s and fighting an earlier version of Doctor Doom who has also gone back in time to the 1960s. It’s absolutely delightful and hilarious. And just so very nerdy. In a climactic scene Squirrel Girl gives secret instructions to a friend by saying a string of C++ code out loud, knowing that the friend is a computer science major and can translate it. This run by Ryan North and Erica Henderson is one of the greatest comic book runs of the past couple of years, up there with Ms. Marvel.

Tweeter of the Month:

Dee @figgled
Dee is from Melbourne. She is funny. Don’t just take my word for it: John Stamos said so too, once.

My favourite part of scary movies is when the girl's like "don't go in there" and the guy's like "babe it's fine" and then he dies 🙂

— Dee (@figgled) May 3, 2015

The psych clinic smells like pickles but there are no pickles. Is this a test

— Dee (@figgled) August 16, 2016

I didn't judge u for calling ur son Xrüe so don't judge me for sneaking ham into this dog park OK Stephanie

— Dee (@figgled) August 16, 2016

*whispers to a pigeon* i don't know how to pronounce bourgeois

— Dee (@figgled) August 13, 2016

Aim high. Shoot for the moon. Strike the cheese man in his smug face. Murder the moon boy

— Dee (@figgled) August 20, 2015

Tweeter of the Month:

mindflakes
Mindflakes is funny. Take a wook:

If you get on a train with a mouse in your hand and you stare at it and poke it like it's a phone, nobody will notice for almost 25 minutes

— mindflakes (@_mindflakes) July 23, 2015

What is this world coming to when you can't ask a squirrel to watch your burrito for a minute while you fish your shoes out of the duck pond

— mindflakes (@_mindflakes) July 21, 2015

When I die please bury me with a trident in my hand inside the ribcage of a dinosaur skeleton

— mindflakes (@_mindflakes) July 20, 2015

"Siri how do I do karate" I scream into a calculator, fending off the the zoo security guards with an ostrich I just found

— mindflakes (@_mindflakes) July 16, 2015

Upgrade to Mindflakes Pro for 3.99/month and I'll come over to your house once a year to massage warm butter into your head and face.

— mindflakes (@_mindflakes) July 15, 2015

I'm eating wholegrain rice! It's like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is flavourless and unsatisfying.

— mindflakes (@_mindflakes) July 10, 2015

A good way to react when someone offers you a gluten-free rice cracker is to perform a spectacular running backflip into a bin full of wasps

— mindflakes (@_mindflakes) June 30, 2015

Mindflakes is also exceptionally skilled at re-tweeting really funny tweets. I’ve found some of my favorite funny tweeters through mindflakes.

TV Show of the Month:

Steven Universe
Have I never actually done this as an “Of the Month” before? What is wrong with me!? This is the best show on television right now. Period. End of sentence.

At first glance it might seem to be in the same vein as Adventure Time (indeed, the show’s creator Rebecca Sugar (her real name) worked on Adventure Time before starting Steven Universe), but while Adventure Time takes place in a wacky, zany, anything-goes world, Steven Universe takes place in a much more intimate, careful, and unabashedly sentimental world. I’ve never seen a cartoon that hits more emotional buttons with such unnering accuraccy; it earns its sentimentality with incredibly thoughtful and insightful character work. Steven Universe is full of funny, quirky, heroic, and deeply-flawed characters who are all floundering through their world in their own ways, sometimes together and sometimes painfully alone. Heroes are allowed to make mistakes on this show, and it isn’t always wrapped neatly up by the end of the episode. Steven Universe also has some of the most careful and amazing backstory and world-building in any Sci-Fi show I’ve seen, as we view the world through Steven’s 10-year-old eyes and revelations are slowly and surprisingly stumbled upon by him.

Tabletop Game of the Month:

BANG!
A game for a minimum of 4 people (or 3 if you get certain expansions) that simulates and old western. Each player is given a role: Sheriff, Deputy, Renegade, Outlaw(s). Each role has its own goal to complete to win the game: all the Outlaws must die for the Sheriff to win the game; the Sheriff must die for the Outlaw(s) to win the game; etc. It’s pretty fast-paced, and gameplay can take anywhere from a few minutes to quite a long time depending on just how good y’all are at killin’ each other.

There has been a lot of internet chatter recently about recurrent neural networks. Just do a google search of that term if you don’t know what that is; I ain’t here to educamate you on it.

What I am here to do is talk about one of my favorite recent uses for a recurrent neural network: generating Magic: The Gathering cards!

MTG Salvation forum members led by user Talcos have been using these networks to generate new, novel, insane, and hilarious MTG cards. And for your convenience there’s also a twitter account that posts a card once a day.

I laughed SO HARD when I was reading through them. Here are just a few of my favorites:

(They was kicked.)

pic.twitter.com/k6HTRmDjyZ

— RoboRosewater (@RoboRosewater) June 12, 2015

This. This spell.

pic.twitter.com/aBSFvVKpa3

— RoboRosewater (@RoboRosewater) June 12, 2015

Cat Clerics!

pic.twitter.com/DE5Zb5tysv

— RoboRosewater (@RoboRosewater) June 12, 2015

Here, look at this card. You can’t have it!

pic.twitter.com/ytEvwXyT7j

— RoboRosewater (@RoboRosewater) June 20, 2015

Hellogoodbye!

pic.twitter.com/swxulDinUt

— RoboRosewater (@RoboRosewater) June 22, 2015

If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful…

pic.twitter.com/Lvk42bBq7x

— RoboRosewater (@RoboRosewater) June 29, 2015

Congratulations: a sorcery

Tark's Flowstork pic.twitter.com/WDjU1i29SP

— RoboRosewater (@RoboRosewater) July 6, 2015

Angelic Sludge

Sludge of the Machine pic.twitter.com/jxVKmiMxau

— RoboRosewater (@RoboRosewater) July 12, 2015

Not ready yet

Dorsersteel Lava pic.twitter.com/Wpxobmxtd8

— RoboRosewater (@RoboRosewater) July 15, 2015

Go take a look through the entire twitter feed and also the forum thread to see the magic of artificial intelligence hard at work. And also to laugh your ass off.

A couple of days ago Twitter user @ThePatanoiac completed a rather awexome project: a tourism guide to the “Invisible States of America,” a dark, Nightvale-style alternate universe of strange and bizarre territories. Read them NOW!

The Invisible States

Some of my favorites are New Jutland, Selima, Wayala, Kilotah, and Ruskeagan. Howsabout you?

It’s crunch time: we’re down to the last couple of days before that big Chrissymiss holiday that I hear a bunch about. It’s easy to get all stress-ified this time of year, so it’s always important to seek out some holiday cheer. Here are some suggestions of mine on how to find the cheer this year:

Enjoy Some Holiday Lights

Merry Christmas from Zoolights, Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium’s annual holiday celebration where they dress up the zoo with millions of Christmas lights in all sorts of Christmassy displays! What could be more Christmassy than these:

Christmas Scorpions!

The Christmas Spider!

Well, I can’t say that I’m too familiar with the Christmas Scorpions and Spiders… but I guess they might help put you in the mood? How about we look at some lights that remind us of the savior for whom this holiday is really celebrated:

Our Dread Lord and Savior, Cthulhu!

If that doesn’t put you in the holiday mood of cheer, how about…

Listen to Some Holiday Music

Musician Three Ninjas has put out a little holiday EP! With songs titles like “Joy & Goodwill,” “The Birth of Our Savior (is the Death of my Dream),” and “It’s an Agonizingly Slow Death,” this is sure to coat you liberally in some holiday cheer:

Hmm… maybe depressing country music isn’t your thing this time of year? Well, how about music from world-renowned, highly-honored actor and performer Sir Christopher Lee?

Wow, that’s some really hardcore death metal, isn’t it? Maybe you should download Sir Christopher’s latest song, “Darkest Carols, Faithful Sing” here and listen to it over and over again at full volume to blast some holiday cheer into your ear.

No? Let’s try…

Watch Some Made-For-TV Holiday Movies

What could be more heartwarming than some good ol’ made-for-TV movies about the holidays? Luckily for us Twitter user @audipenny has watched them all for you and has reviewed them here. Here’s a sample of what you can enjoy:

A Rake That Was A Manger Too

Named 2009’s “What Is This. No Seriously What” film of the year, a small-town rake drives, yes drives, into town and proves to everyone that rakes that drive cars into towns can also be outside rooms where Jesuses are born, god my head never stops hurting, do you think there is a baby in there

Sound good? No? You should read through the rest of them.

Still not feeling the holiday spirit? Feeling more of a horrorday spirit? Well, there’s always one thing you can do: put the power in your own hands by creating your own holiday cheer from scratch…

Make Some Holiday Snowflakes

Make your own paper snowflakes. Don’t know how? You’re in luck because I wrote a detailed tutorial a few years ago. You can make beautiful snowflakes like this:

The Snowflake Devourer

If the threat of world annihilation from Galactus, the dreaded World Devourer doesn’t make you feel some holiday cheer, then I don’t know what will.

HAPPY HOLIDAYSES 2014!

Jon Hendren (@fart) created a very funny narrative on Twitter yesterday. What started out as a series of inane, buzzword-babble “advice” tweets about social media quickly went to a dark and hilarious place:

Puff on the stogie of digital social. New media storytelling is an emerging paradigm. Dive in to digital reality. #Marketing #Branding #Web

— jon hendren (@fart) March 18, 2014

The future of branding is now. Rich storytelling experiences fuel the brandshare of your social. Go digital or get out. #SocialMedia #NewWeb

— jon hendren (@fart) March 18, 2014

Take flight in a new eco-web sphere. Harness viral buzz to create new experiences. Strangle a horse and twit the pic. Go social. #Digital

— jon hendren (@fart) March 18, 2014

Connect your brand with consumer emotion. Relive past social. I remember the horse's eyes as I snuffed the life out of it. All for digital.

— jon hendren (@fart) March 18, 2014

Lead in the social space with disruptive thought leadership. It looked at me and wondered why. Make it a digital lifestyle. #SocialMedia

— jon hendren (@fart) March 18, 2014

Always-on branding and innovative global experiences target consumers' emotion. The skeletal steed gallops through my thoughts. #DigiMedia

— jon hendren (@fart) March 18, 2014

What is your brand experience? Are you telling a story? We drove home in silence. What have I done? #ViralBuzz #Social

— jon hendren (@fart) March 18, 2014

Track your media wins and viral fails with our app. Someone put a little horse statue on my desk. I feel sick when I look at it. #Social

— jon hendren (@fart) March 18, 2014

Growth hacking is key to social media cyber success. 800 likes on the horse strangling video. I was awarded a starbucks gift card.

— jon hendren (@fart) March 18, 2014

Focus on the sweet spots of social: Apps, Social, Likes, Friends, Social. Grow or die. Deliver a rich brand experience. Communicate. #Social

— jon hendren (@fart) March 18, 2014

Cyber your grogle. Be your own digital dean. Witness the fueled growth of 100 brands. Slideshow: 19 Ways to Social. Horse I'm Sorry

— jon hendren (@fart) March 18, 2014

You're not just competing for business– you're competing for mindshare across meaningful consumer demos. #HorseRegret #SocialMedia #SEO

— jon hendren (@fart) March 18, 2014

Decentralize growth in the era of New Digital. Navigate the sphere to find likes and shared viral solutions. Threw horse carcass in river

— jon hendren (@fart) March 18, 2014

Powered social interactions on the scale of business. Tailored to your target demo. Marty the Horse gave himself and Hell will be my reward

— jon hendren (@fart) March 18, 2014

Dark comedy at its finest, people. Follow Jon Hendren on Twitter.