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2002 Articles: A Year in Review

Well, folks, 2002 is (long) over, and since it was the first year that I did articles here in thisischris.com, I thought I'd take a nice long look, a retrospecticus if you will, of my favorite articles of yesteryear. I actually wrote some 40 articles or so! Yikes! Stripes! Fruit-striped gum (and bubblegum)! So let's take a look at the Top Five Articles of 2002:

#5: Don't Embarrass Yourself, C-3PO!

I'm proud of this one because of the fact that I was actually able to include the entire comic and audio recording in the article, so that if you, my ever-loving audience, wanted to make your own opinion about it instead of just hanging on my every word (although really, what more could you want?), you could actually read the comic or download the audio and listen to it your durned self. Plus I'm proud that I got to make a Terminator/Star Wars crossover joke. That was nice.

#4: Pumpkin Carving With the Ocean Shores Pirate

I really enjoy making characters out of inanimate objects, so I'm very happy that this article includes three such characters, including one of my best friends, The Ocean Shores Pirate here. This article actually tells a coherent story, is funny, and provides a valuable service to the public by helping them with their pumpkins. Plus, I got to write in a pirate accent for a whole damned article! How can I not love this one?

#3: The Shame of the He-Man Poster

This was one of my earliest articles, and it's the one where I really hit my stride and found my voice, full of sarcasm and mocking awe. I also really like the scenario I came up with to explain the poster image. Also it's about He-Man, which is never a bad thing. Not a bad thing at all.

#2: Snack on THIS, Jaxson!

In my quest to find obscure and bizzare old video games I really think I win first prize with this doozey. This is seriously one of the weirdest ideas for a game I've ever seen. What could the sales pitch for this game possibly have been for a company to give the project a green light? Why would anyone even TRY to pitch this idea? Whatever the reason, I thank all the gods every day for Snacks'n Jaxson. You should, too. Do it! NOW!

#1: Happy Birthday to Me: LARB!

Really, I don't think there can be any argument about this one. It's a masterpiece. I laid it on so thick that I can't even believe it when I re-read it. Larb is one of my favorite things now, even though it's too spicy for me; if I ate it I'd be bleeding from the intestines lickety-split, and that's only fun for a little while. I like Larb so much that I kept on mentioning it in other articles. Seriously, there are a suprising number of articles where one of the "Related Articles" is this one.

I almost included Pee-Wee's Christmas: The Secret Word is "FEAR" in the list. Let's call it #6, okay? It's still really good, but I had artificially chosen a restriction of five articles for the sake of brevity, so I really can't include it. It's not actually quite as well-written as these five articles, but for sheer comprehensiveness it can't be beat.

Well, I think we're all better people now, aren't we? I know I am. I just engaged in a whole heaping helpload of self-congratulation, so I ain't feeling too shabby.

So here's a sneek preview of some of the articles I'm planning for this glorious year of 2003:

  • My Christmas 2002
  • What IS Inside that Darned Fox Box?
  • The Many Faces of King Vitaman
  • Atari Force: Forgotten Classic of Literature
  • My 2-Year DVD Anniversary Quiz

Plus I should really write the next installment in the MegaMan's Robot Masters series, and also finish up my How To Be a Movie Star series, considering that I have actually finished up that series in real life. Plus you can be sure that there will be a few visits by my friend and yours The Ocean Shores Pirate, and I think I'd like to try to get ANGRY BEEF involved somehow, but I don't know if I'll be able to book him; he's kind of a busy hunk of pissed-off meat.

The Ocean Shores Pirate Says:

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