A Halloween Surprise for
The Ocean Shores Pirate
Well, it's Halloween 2007! Hooray! And to celebrate, as per the last several years, let's all welcome back the Ocean Shores Pirate, everyone's favorite pirate painted on a piece of balsa wood!
Arr, it be good t'be back, matey. So much fer yer resolution t'write more articles this year, eh laddy?
Fine, fine. But I got a real job this year, so I had even less time than last year. Besides, I wrote that good one about Two-Sticks!
Have ye e'er tried t'play Two-Sticks on a pirate ship? The shuttlecock be flyin' off the edge o' the ship and into the briney deep. Thar be not enough room!
Okay, so maybe that one isn't for you.
Nay, it ain't fer me! But All Hallow's Eve sure be fer me! It be the holiday where ye take pity on me wooden self and dust me off fer help during another article about craftin' some sorta Halloween project. What be it this year? Carvin' a punkin?
No, actually I already did that. Here, take a look:
Space Invaders! Arr, one time when me ship took to shore in a distant port there were a Space Invaders stand-up arcade console on the boardwalk. A mate o' mine dared me to play and to take a shot o' rum whensoever me little ship got blowed up by the aliens. I lost on purpose! O'er and o'er again! Har har!
So If not a punkin, then perhaps ye need me help with yer costume?
No, actually I already did that, too. I went as one of those hard hat enemies from the Mega Man games. Look!
And, see, I attached a handle to the back...
And hinged the corner with a big bolt...
So that way I could actually open it up and reveal the face inside, just like in the game!
I made it by getting some big pieces of cardboard, one white and one yellow and some spray paint. I gridded out the cardboard and then copied the design of the hard hat enemy pixel-by-pixel. Then I just made some stencils and black spray paint, and spray-painted the thing up. The yellow eyelids on the face are yellow construction paper taped into place.
I also bought a little ball shooter at the dollar store so that it would actually be able to shoot when it's opened!
Arr, that be not so much a costume as somethin' that ye put on the floor and hide behind while manipulatin' it.
True, it isn't something I can actually walk around in. But the enemy was stationary in the game (in the first Mega Man, at least, which is what this costume is based upon), so it's accurate in that sense.
Aye, and so yer sayin' that if'n I dressed up as an airplane for Halloween, then it ain't a good costume unless I be takin' off into the sky and soarin' with yon bloomin' birds!?
No, no. Jeez, you're testy today!
I always be "testy," lad! Ye just ferget on account o' not interactin' with me but one day outta the year! Except maybe usin' that stock image o' me sayin' "It be bonafide!"
This one?
Aye, that one! I ain't said "bonafide" in many a year, and yet ye keep on a-milkin' it fer all it be worth!
What's really bothering you?
Ye bring me outta obscurity for a Halloween article, yet I find that ye don't need me help with either the punkins nor the costume! At least tell me that I can help ye with some sorta ghostly craft this year!
Umm... actually the only thing new I did this year was make punkin hats with my wife and our five-year-old friend. And we did those way back at the beginning of the month:
Aargh! Arr! Ye brought me here fer nothin'! This be a complete waste o' me time! And ye didn't even bring me nay o' the booze nor hooch nor spirits o' wine fer to deaden the pain of bein' completely usless to ye!
Actually, well, I do have a surprise for you.
Ye do? I... I be not knowin' what t'say. Does it be booze? Or hooch? Or even the spirits o' wine?
Actually, Dancin' Mummy and I made you a costume! Here, try it on!
I... I be still not knowin' what t'say. Dancin' Mummy, did ye really help with this?
Dancing Mummy: It was my idea, pirate! But I don't actually have any computer skills, so Chris helped me design it.
Ye... ye be the best mates a painting of a pirate on a piece of wood could ever have. *sniff*
Ocean Shores Pirate... are you crying?
Nay! Nay! It be a piece o' this accursed mummy wrappin' done struck me good eye and made it all watery! *sniff* Don't look at me! Turn yer eyes away! I ain't cryin'! There be no cryin' in baseball nor piratin'!
It's okay, OCP. We love you, too.
Happy Halloween, everybody!
AND GOD BLESS US, *sniff* EVERY ONE!